Al Anon's Tradition 3 emphasizes the gathering of relatives of alcoholics for mutual aid, forming an Al Anon family group rooted in shared experiences and support. Spencer elaborates on how this mutual aid creates a safe space where individuals facing the impact of addiction can find solace and understanding. The only requirement for membership is the presence of alcoholism in a relative or friend, fostering a sense of unity and compassion within the group. Spencer recounts his journey of seeking support in Al Anon meetings and the transformative power of mutual aid. The feeling of not being alone anymore, the exchange of experiences, and the shared path towards personal growth resonate deeply in his narrative. We find moments of realization, self-discovery, and the bonds formed through mutual aid in the Al Anon community. One significant aspect of mutual aid within Al Anon is sponsorship, where experienced members mentor others in their recovery journey. Sponsors can provide guidance by asking thought-provoking questions, offering reflections, and empowering individuals to explore their motives and choices. Through sponsorship, mutual aid extends beyond shared experiences to personalized support and guidance tailored to individual needs. In the tapestry of recovery and personal growth, mutual aid emerges as a force that nurtures resilience, empathy, and self-awareness. Through shared experiences, support without judgment, and a community built on understanding, individuals in Al Anon find strength in unity and healing. Readings and Links We read from A Little Time For Myself, an Al-Anon daily reader, p. 73 (March 13). Judy asked “what do I do when Google Podcasts goes away?” See one person's recommendations for a new app. Use our Subscribe/Follow page to follow the podcast in your new app. On an Android phone, tap the “Android” button. Upcoming topics We will be starting a new series of episodes on the 12 steps. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Music from the Show Bill Withers – Lean on Me Sia – Breathe Me Jason Mraz – Song for a Friend

We find value in the shared experiences, wisdom, and support expressed in Al-Anon meetings. Sharing in meetings plays a crucial role in bolstering recovery, assisting in healing, and fostering a sense of community among attendees. However, we may hear instructions and conventions that seem challenging to adhere to at times. Why do we share? Sharing in an Al-Anon meeting invokes an atmosphere of sincerity, openness, and compassion. Speakers such as Heather and Spencer cherish the meeting as a platform to express their feelings, share their experiences, invite the shared experience of others, and most importantly, aid their path to recovery. Al-Anon’s third tradition suggests that we “[gather] together for mutual aid,” allowing us to learn from others' experiences. How do we share? Heather was challenged by her sponsor to try speaking from the heart during meetings. She was told that she should not aim to present a meticulously crafted speech but rather express her authentic feelings and experiences. Despite being a vital recovery tool, sharing can bring about certain challenges. One of these is the common issue of oversharing. Heather highlights this by narrating an instance where she was challenged by another person's extensive sharing. Creating a Safe Space Creating a safe and trusting environment is crucial for effective sharing. Many meetings ask members to not “crosstalk”, where one person's sharing draws an immediate response from someone else. This helps to maintain this safe space. It’s essential for each of us to keep the focus on ourselves. This way, all attendees can openly share their feelings and experiences without feeling judged or interrupted. Cultivating humility Heather's reflection on this concept is insightful – our recovery journey is ours and ours alone. No share is more valuable or insightful than the other, and no member should dominate others with their contribution. Al-Anon's Tradition 8 (Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional…) reminds us that every attendee is seen as equal, each carrying their own experiences, strength, and hope. Conclusion Sharing in meetings is a pivotal practice in Al-Anon – one that encourages honesty, openness and cultivates a supportive community. With each share, we walk further from our pain and closer to serenity, helping us internalize the power of Al-Anon's founding principles. Readings and Links Heather read from Courage to Change, Nov 3 (p. 308) We also mentioned these books: Reaching for Personal Freedom, Hope for Today, and Paths to Recovery. Upcoming topics I am planning a series of episodes on the 12 Steps. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the Show Kelsea Ballerini – Overshare Rita Ora – Keep Talking Jennifer Nettles – You Will Be Found

In February, 2023, Spencer gave a talk at the 71st Greeley AA Stampede. This is that talk. Readings and Links The Greeley AA Stampede is an annual AA conference with Al-Anon participation. Find out more at their website. A listener asked about finding “speaker tapes” online. Two sources are XA Speakers and Recovery Radio Network. A couple listeners have asked about the “adult child” oriented podcasts I've been listening to. They are Fragmented to Whole and Adult Child Podcast. Music from the Show Coldplay – Fix You Sarah McLachlan – Sweet Surrender Kimberly suggested this next song. INXS – Don't Change

Listen to the experience, strength and hope, questions, and fears of 30-ish listeners of The Recovery Show. Hear from members on topics such as these: * Coping with the effects of addiction * The recovery process * Working the Al Anon program * Sponsorship in recovery * Understanding self-centered behavior * Acceptance of powerlessness * Reflections on past recovery experiences Here are few moments that you might connect with: Sue wrote, “While listening to Debra C. share on your podcast, I realized she was telling my story. I took away many things, but mainly that ‘hands off, pays off’ is my new mantra.” Mike said, “If someone is trapped and has no resources or outside help, and has been through this before, they may fawn. That is, they may become compliant or even take the side of the oppressor to soothe, distract, or somehow deflect or minimize the harm that is coming their way.” From another Sue, “[Your podcast] has helped me find a path into the spiritual side of the program. This is something I never expected to be possible for me.” Mary said, “Al Anon taught me that his alcoholism is about him, not me, and also that I didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it. But I sure can contribute to it. And I did do that by reacting in a way that was not helpful to him or me or the situation.” Louise is “so grateful for the tools of recovery that have given me the ability to navigate the halls of alcoholism.” There are many more moments such as these in the full episode. Episode links These episodes were mentioned by contributors: * 402 Gossip * 401 What is my Motive? * 322 Deborah C – Hands Off Pays Off * 132 Living with Lies * 381 Acceptance as a Gift of Recovery * 394 People of Color in Recovery – Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging * 403 Inaction and Reaction: Navigating the Path to Meaningful Action * 9 Step 2 * 296 Spiritual Awakenings and Experiences * 358 Al-Anon after Divorce * 354 Making Decisions Music Lean on Me – Bill Withers

The 12 steps are indispensable in the journey towards healing. They can spark enlightenment, foster growth, and propel personal transformation. In this episode, Spencer, Karen, and other contributors explore several approaches to working the 12 steps. Acknowledging Variety and Personalizing the Process 12-step recovery does not have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach. Members apply the steps to their own lives in differing ways. The Al-Anon literature includes several guides to the steps, and sponsors may suggest yet other approaches. Some members may need to start with a deep exploration of their powerlessness, while others may need “emotional detox” before they can even start looking at the Steps.   The Importance of Sponsors in the Recovery Journey Assistance from sponsors, mentors, or “fellow travelers” can be instrumental in easing the 12-step process. Whether helping with the complex aspects of the journey or offering insights for self-development, the value offered by mentors can be immeasurable. Often, sponsors can help people identify the steps they need to apply the most, thereby confronting the challenge head-on. Working the Steps: Different Approaches, Same Journey  In the realm of recovery, three popular tools to work the steps in Al-Anon are the books Paths to Recovery, Blueprint for Progress, and Reaching for Personal Freedom.. Paths to Recovery offers a comprehensive guide through the 12 steps, with some questions that help focus thoughts and inspire deep reflection. It may present a long journey, sometimes up to two years per complete cycle, but with patience and perseverance, progress can be made. Blueprint for Progress, another workbook, provides a detailed walk through Step four, conducting a deep dive into one's inventory, listing shortcomings and assets alike. Reaching for Personal Freedom is a newer book. It guides an examination of the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts, focusing on how these can be applied to our personal lives. The common thread with these books is their focus on applying the 12 steps to daily life, transforming not only habits but an entire inner worldview.  Overcoming Challenges: The Essence of Step Four  Step Four, involving a ‘Fearless and searching moral inventory,' can be challenging. It is during the process of Step Four that the strength and support of a sponsor becomes critical. Often, a sponsor will suggest a particular practice of working Step 4, usually because it is the way they have worked that step in their own recovery.  Some have found the “4 column” approach described in the book Alcoholics Anonymous to be useful. As a sponsor, however, we should also be sensitive to whether the proposed approach is working well for the person we are guiding. An Ongoing Learning Process Working the steps is an ongoing learning process, finding new layers of understanding and inner growth at every step. Some of us have found that we can apply the 12 Steps to particular incidents or actions in our lives, whether alcohol is involved or not. Sometimes a quick run through the steps can lead us to “promptly admitting” our faults, as suggested by Step 10. For most of us, working the steps is not “one and done” but is a lifelong process of personal growth. It is truly about a journey,

Did you attend the 2023 Al-Anon International Convention? If you didn't, have you wondered what it was like? In this episode, Heather, Racheal, and Spencer share our expectations of the convention, what happened at the convention, what we learned, and what we are bringing home. Contact the show You can leave a voicemail at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the Show The Beatles – All You Need is Love

In our lives, we often find ourselves faced with situations that require us to make decisions. We have a choice to either react impulsively or take a moment to consider our actions. This interplay between inaction and reaction can shed light on how we navigate life's complexities. Let's delve deeper into the concepts of inaction, reaction, and the transformative power of taking meaningful action. The Dance of Inaction and Reaction Our primitive “lizard brain” responds when faced with unexpected or challenging situations. Our initial response can be inaction, an attempt to freeze and hope the problem goes away. We struggle with discomfort and uncertainty, hoping it's not real. However, when it becomes clear that inaction is not viable, our lizard brain's second response can be to run away. Recovery introduces a new way of dealing with these situations. We learn to create a period of inner waiting and preparation before deciding on an appropriate course of action. We move away from immediate reactions and step into a space of awareness, acceptance, and ultimately, meaningful action. Seeking Guidance Spencer and Eric look at tools and strategies for dealing with inaction and reaction. One powerful tool is seeking guidance from our higher power, a sponsor or a trusted person. Prayer and meditation can reveal our higher power's will for us. By reaching out to others, we gain different perspectives and can find the courage to move forward. Taking Time for Self-reflection Another valuable tool is the practice of self-reflection. Whether through journaling, physical activity, or prayer and meditation, taking time to calm the mind can help us navigate our emotions and make more informed decisions. By becoming aware of our motives and feelings, we can avoid falling into the trap of impulsive reactions and find a more balanced approach. The Power of Choosing Our Attitude A quote from Victor Frankl suggests that in the time between a stimulus and our response, there lies a space where we have the power to choose our attitude. Even in challenging circumstances, we have the freedom to choose how we respond. By embracing this perspective, we can transform our reactions and inactions into actions that align with our values. Supporting a Loved One's Challenges We (Eric and Spencer) share our experience of supporting loved ones dealing with mental health challenges. We found we could maintain a balance between support and enabling, allowing our loved ones to navigate their difficulties, while providing a non-judgmental presence.  Conclusion As we explore the dance between inaction and reaction, one thing becomes clear: the choices we make in these moments shape the trajectory of our lives. By cultivating awareness, seeking guidance, and choosing our attitudes, we empower ourselves to break free from impulsive reactions and embrace meaningful action. We hope that sharing our own experience, strength, and hope will enable you to  gain valuable insights into how to navigate life's challenges with grace and purpose. So, next time we find ourselves at the crossroads of inaction and reaction, let's remember to pause, reflect, and choose our response wisely. By doing so, we can embark on a path of personal growth, empowered decision-making, and the fulfillment that comes from living a life aligned with our values. Readings and Links We opened with a reading from Hope for Today October 15, and included the reading for August 14 later in our conve...

What is gossip? How is it harmful to my recovery? Spencer and Laurel discuss gossip and how it can hinder our path to recovery. We share our personal experiences, elaborating on how we used to perceive gossip and how this perception has changed. We lay emphasis on the power of silence, restraining oneself from engaging in gossip, and talk about relevant situations from our work lives. We conclude by acknowledging that refraining from gossip can be a lifelong struggle but a resultant increase in authenticity in relationships makes it worth it. In our conversation, these three things emerge: Harmful effects of gossip: Gossip can be harmful, both to individuals and to relationships. Damage is caused by spreading rumors, engaging in speculation, and talking about others without their presence. We highlight the importance of being mindful of the information we share and the impact it can have on others. The importance of boundaries: We must set boundaries when it comes to gossip. We can recognize when conversations are turning towards gossip and actively choose not to engage in or perpetuate such discussions. Tools we can use to avoid gossip are silence and self-restraint. The value of personal reflection and growth: We express the personal growth and self-reflection that can occur through practicing the tools and principles of the Al-Anon program. We can learn to navigate gossip and gossip-like situations by reflecting on our own behavior, practicing empathy and compassion, and focusing on personal responsibility rather than blaming others. We are constantly learning from our experiences and striving to improve our interactions with others. Readings and Links Laurel chose readings from Courage to Change, January 25 and October 26. She also pulled in the concept of “hotwiring intimacy” using gossip from Brené Brown's book Braving the Wilderness. Spencer was inspired and deeply affected by a couple of podcast episodes: * Fragmented to Whole, episode 229, “Why I Think of Gossip as an Anti-Intimacy Campaign” * This American Life, episode 809, “The Call“ Veronica suggested Where'd You Go , Bernadette as another book with Al-Anon themes (referencing episode 399, “Finding Al-Anon Lessons in Classic Novels”) Nancy was inspired by the book Incurable Hope by Lisa Gennosa, and by hearing her speak. (Note: I earn a small amount from qualified purchases through links to Amazon. I earn nothing from links to the Al-Anon book store.) Feedback Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here. Music from the Show Adele – Rumor Has It Jill Scott – Hate on Me The Go-Go's – Our Lips Are Sealed

At a recent meeting, the topic was Step 11. I most often share about my difficulties in creating a regular program of prayer and meditation. But at this meeting, I picked the second part of the step “Praying only for knowledge of God’s will…” The question that I face when I consider that phrase is, “how do I know if something is God’s will or just mine?” Apparently, I last talked about this question in Episode 61 “Intuition or God’s Will?” One tool that I try to remember to use when faced with this question is to ask myself “What is my motive?” I was guided to this question by a program friend some years ago. An acquaintance had had a horrible experience, and I was thinking about calling them to let them know I cared. But, I also had enough Al-Anon experience to know that I really ought to check this out with someone else, first. So I called a program friend, and described what I was considering. This friend then asked me “What is your motive?” That made me stop and think. What was my motive? Did I really think that I could provide support? Or was I just trying to make myself feel better about not being able to actually do anything about the situation? Was I close enough to my acquaintance to even talk to them about their experience?  In the end, I decided that this idea came from my will, with the motive of making myself feel better, and did not call. Years later, I still think that was the right decision. There are other situations in which I ask myself, “what is my motive?” Listen to hear about them. * Readings and Links We read from Courage to Change, January 18. Feedback? What is your experience using the question, “What is my motive?” Please send a voice memo or email to feedback@therecovery.show, or call our voice mail line at 734-707-8795.

Reaching and recognizing significant milestones is an integral part of the recovery process. Celebrating these moments of progress might include acknowledging the ability to set personal boundaries, letting go of blame, or embracing presence in the current moment. These victories, regardless of how small, contribute significantly to personal growth and healing, reinforcing the transformative power of recovery. What is a milestone? One dictionary definition says “A point in a chain of events at which an important change (as in one's fortunes) occurs.” Eric tells us about “waypoints”, which are a way of navigating a boat from one port to another. Waypoints are places along the route where you can measure your progress, and navigate from each one to the next. In a 12-step program, one set of waypoints would be the steps themselves, as they mark our journal of recovery. We navigate from each step to the next, as they build on each other. This episode has contributions from many listeners, who chose to share experiences such as these: * Experiencing an Emotional Breakthrough * Letting Yourself Off the Hook, * Surrender and Relapse, * Recognizing a Spiritual Awakening, * Finding Guidance Through a Cancer Diagnosis, * Gratitude for Recovery and Intervention Success, * Detaching with Love and Personal Growth, * The Benefits of Volunteering, * Finding a Relationship with a Higher Power, * Navigating Life with an Active Drinker, * Setting Boundaries and Seeking Help, * Finding the Right Sponsor, * Learning to Detach and Set Boundaries Readings and Resources We read from Courage to Change, June 24. Eric talked about a personal breakthrough and the song that was connected to it, “Give Me Your Eyes” by Brandon Heath. If you want to hear more about it, listen to Episode 380, Awareness and Acceptance, at about the 15 minute mark. A listener mentioned episode 387, Co-Crazy as an inspiration for her milestone. I used DALL-E to generate the image of “400 with wings” for this episode. Upcoming topics Did you attend the Al-Anon International Convention? We'd love to hear about your experience. You can send a voice memo or email to feedback@therecovery.show, or you can call and leave a voicemail at 734-707-8795. Music from the Show Brandon Heath – Give Me Your Eyes Fleetwood Mac – Landslide