A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So.  A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady. What do you think? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alexandra Petri- humor columnist for the Washington Post. They talk about comedy writing in these dark times, and Alexandra helps answer a question about horny fantasy titles creeping into a woman's bookclub.  A woman is enjoying a friends-with-benefits situation with a man in an open marriage. She's beginning to fall in love with him in fact. But he and his wife are trying to get pregnant, and he has made it clear that the instant they see that pink line, he must switch to friends-only as he focuses on fatherhood. How can the caller protect her heart when she knows this relationship has an expiration date?  How indeed?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU. This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

A woman's boyfriend wants her to play with his ass. But she doesn't know where to begin. Fingers? Tongue? What should she do down there?  A woman keeps getting harassed by men in cars jacking it and watching her creepily. What can she do in these unpleasant moments? On the Magnum Dan chats with journalist Ben Ryan about the effects of PrEP in gay sex culture. As DAN PREDICTED, with the rise of PrEP use, HIV infections plummeted, but other STIs are on the rise. Are condoms dead? Not so fast.  Finally, a lesbian couple are planning to have children. First one will carry the baby, then it will be the other one's turn for the second child. The mother of the woman who will carry the first baby blurted out that she was excited to be the bio grandmother. The non-bio mom-to-be was offended, and doesn't know how to let it go. When they have their second child will the grandmother love the child as much?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A gay man keeps sleeping with non-monogamous, married men, who are ultimately emotionally unavailable. But the sex is great! Why isn't he attracted to single men, hmmmm?  Parenting challenge ahoy! A couple with a blended family are getting along well, except for one thing. The mom's 15 year-old daughter loses her mind when she hears them having sex. She bangs on the wall, and makes retching noises when they kiss or otherwise show affection. How can they (respectfully) shut this behavior down?  On the Magnum, you'll delight in this conversation with Dr. Eric Sprankle, author of the new book, "DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation." Why are so many religions hung up on self-pleasure? Is semen retention good or bad for you? And those cute little fetuses you see on anti-abortion billboards? They're totally spanking it.  And, hear the tale of Willy and Wendy. One wild evening, a woman and her boyfriend had their pal "Willy" over. They did some MDMA, and tumbled into bed together. Then, the texts started coming in from "Wendy," Willy's girlfriend. The caller had assumed that everything would be ok with Wendy, as they must be in an open relationship. Not so! Now, Willy has some explaining to do, and the caller feels real bad.  Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

For this episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Rob Henderson, author of "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class." Rob's heart-breaking memoir goes into his wrenching childhood, and also his concept of "luxury beliefs," - sanctimonious ideas that the upper classes advocate for, but usually don't follow themselves, and ultimately hurt the poor and working class. Henderson includes non-monogamy as a luxury belief, and as you can imagine, Dan ain't havin' it.  This is a 20 minute taste of Sex & Politics. The Magnum version of this conversation goes on for over an hour- and that's where Dan and Rob go toe-to-toe over traditional vs. open relationships. To hear the rest of the interview, subscribe to the Magnum at Savage.Love. Hear their polite argument, and tell us what you think in the comments!

So, is he gay? The evidence: He likes sucking wieners, anal play, and he has a sex machine that he uses on his butt. Also, he is showing less and less interest in having sex with the caller, and when she asks him about it he responds "Is sex all you care about?"  An anxious cougar is suspicious of the young men who hit on her. Why would they want to be with someone twice their age? She knows she should count her blessings, and her friends all roll their eyes at her discomfort. How can she get out of her head about this and enjoy the youthful dick already?  Our guest this week is Rhaina Cohen, author of "The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center." She and Dan talk about the state of friendship in our culture, how friendship takes a backseat to romantic love, and how we put way too much pressure on our partners to be our everything. A little is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.  "Good girl." That's what he tells her when they're doing a scene. But it's also what she says to her dogs! It takes her right out of the moment. Any other verbiage they could use?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

You guys! We are in crisis! There are just not enough hot young women! DO. THE. MATH. A woman is dating a trans woman. Her girlfriend recently got bottom surgery, and wants to try being penetrated with an actual penis, as opposed to a toy. Should the caller allow for an open relationship to accommodate this? Strap in folks, we're unveiling a new extra spicy segment of the show called "What Are you Doing?" Dan reaches out to folks who are doing amazing things in the world of sex, and asks them to please explain. In this first one, Dan interviews adult entertainer Rob Wilde, to explain his kink for saline infusions. Did you know that you could stick a needle in your balls and blow them up to the size of basketballs...for a day? You can! Learn all about it.  And, a woman and her boyfriend are getting creative with medical byproducts. You'll have to listen in to hear how.  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

"Ewww! Blood!" That's what her boyfriend says whenever she even mentions her menstrual cycle. Should she try to educate him as to why this is immature and offensive to a lady with lady parts?  Dan has a conversation with a man whose wife is unilaterally opening their relationship. Can their marriage withstand his wife getting a tattoo from her new lover?  On the Magnum, Dan talks to fellow term-coiner Lara Starr, who came up with the name "Sister Ex" to describe the powerful relationship that can emerge when two (or more) ex-girlfriends share notes. And, somewhere, deep in the Deep South, a couple just set up their new hot tub. But they are worried that if they invite friends over to join them it will appear to be a big, sexy swingers move. How can they avoid misunderstandings? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention? A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis? Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author of MORE: A Memoir of Open Marriage. She and Dan talk about how our society loses its mind at the thought of women (and especially mothers) exercising sexual autonomy. They talk about the challenges and benefits of polyamory and how to overcome jealousy. A little is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. A woman with some kind of special sauce keeps making all the men fall in love with her! She clearly states from the very first date that she isn't looking for commitment. But they cling and they cling. What is she doing wrong? Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman's 60 year-old dad has taken in a much younger woman of dubious repute. She is a massage therapist, and has been cleaning her father's house. Her father claims that taking her in is just the Christian thing to do. The caller worries her father is being taken advantage of- she and her brother don't like it one little bit. Should she refuse to see her father under he kicks the girl out?  A man has discovered his love for kink later in life. Now he's dating and scaring women away when he says he's a dom on OK Cupid. But he wants to be honest, and the kink sites are too over the top for him. How can he hit the jackpot? On the Magnum, comedian Hope Woodard explains her "Boysober" concept and endeavor. No boys for Hope! She explains why she is choosing to remain boysober for a year, how it's different from celibacy, and how dang hard it is!  And, a caller wants to get in on the sexual neologism racket. Will Dan Savage approve of his new portmanteau?  Spoiler: Nope!  Q@Savage.Love            206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  We’re partnering with NOCD to raise awareness about OCD. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That’s OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to NOCD.com/savage to learn more.

Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes?  And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how?  Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamous long term partnership. This is a great conversation- some of it is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.  And, ever since they had their baby, a man and his wife only have sex in the shower. It's become so routine, he's beginning to dread sex. How can he get his wife to agree to something new? Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.